Abrecation 101

I was supposed to post something yesterday in line with my 23rd birth anniversary but some things just went off...

okay, it is my simple practice (that i only keep to myself) not to think of my birth anniversary a great deal. i am not a lover of presents nor surprises. it is okay that people remember. or if i get a chance to have to open some presents... it's just not me at all, wanting gatherings and stuffs.

re-assessing a year in my life... so much has changed. yeah, i know some things change but sometimes i can't figure out which particular thing is it. I even think that i cease noticing minute changes... i created challenge after challenge, running over obstacles...tumbling down... drowning to my pessimistic rants...thinking boldly...keeping quite...brewing plans...changing 'heart'...setting priorities...playing safe...being tired...

i have learned.

during the span of three days (First Days of August), i feel the world becoming the back draft in my life... as if i created my own... sounds that i usually am aware of and took notice became buzz that made no sense to me.... i am a free soul... totally in control... not caring what other people do, think and say... so familiar is it that i felt so secure.... this is the world that i created.... the zone that i knew too well.... drifting to whatever it is that i wanted..not caring at all.... i sort of love that kind of freedom.... to take different perspective of things. totally out of the ordinary.

and then the snap. and I'm back to my place and time. I am part of the world.

i ceased believing in wishes (that's a mature thing to do), i am now devising a replacement to wishes in form of resolution...

i am writing it all down (as i figure few years back, that i am a visual person and writing it down...using the primitive pen and paper... does help me get things going --- mainly the reason why i usually have pen and paper ready anytime) but i will not post it... no matter how tempting it would be.

sort of challenging my self to out do myself.